Country Conspiracy

Woke up on the couch and couldn’t figure out why I slept alone.
I was kept warm by the empty beer bottles.
As I stumbled to the bathroom still drunk off my ass;
I had a vision of a man in a robe. Then he took me into his ship,
bent over on a cold table, while the little gray men came to probe my little bum.

JFK was shot by the CIA, and the truth can still be told by George.
Then the shrubbery wizened up and took over the treasury.
Now it’s run by the Department of Homeland Security.
If you know too much and you speak your mind then you’re hating on the free.

[Chorus]
Well my wife is a cheating whore, and the yeti stole my truck.
It’s all ok because I can still spoon with my dog.
An inbred hick from the south just proud to be American.
We all drink the nanobot infested water, that keeps our minds dull,
while Brett Farve hoses the non-believers down with a fire hose.
Whatever happens I know it’s going to be alright, because I got my homie Jesus in my heart.

Reptilian shape shifting alien Jesus knights that came from the sky now run the government.
Taking babies to make hybrid aliens that’ll survive the interstellar plague.
When that day arrives, the yeti will pick me up in my stolen truck
then we’ll run over my ex-wife, then we’ll rejoice in the hills singing hymns of all sorts.

~ by Dez Minogue on Tuesday 8 April, 2008.